Parenting Tips

Is my Child Kind?

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Have you ever slipped or fallen over, drawing no sympathy or assistance from your child? To our surprise, we wonder ‘Haven’t I modelled and taught them compassion and kindness?”

This issue has been on my mind recently, encouraging me to talk to other parents about this feeling and worry! I was delighted to hear a soothing, possibly logical reason for the lack of empathy shown towards Mummy when she gets hurt!

       “Children never expect their mothers to be vulnerable”      

Is this why my child doesn’t jump up and react?

Do they feel Mummy can never be broken?

Can Mummy always fix everything and be okay no matter what?

Any comments anyone???

Woman with leg in plaster 

Teaching children at home

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What can you do to help with their confidence whilst returning back to school?

The best time to help with learning at home is around the dinner table. Making it informal and fun will have them asking for more! In my household, we have question time at the table! We ask different types of questions from categories like; English, Maths and Science. Let them choose the category!

 

English examples

Kindergarten:

  • What letter comes after Aa in the alphabet?
  • What sound does Hh make?
  • What is something that begins with Gg?

Year 1 and Year 2

  • Spell cat, mat, sat……. etc
  • Spell this, pool, car, beach…..etc (words can get harder as they get older)
  • What is a word with…oa… in it?
  • What cluster of letters makes the …..str….sound?
  • What does plural mean?

 

Maths examples

Kindergarten:

  • If I had 2 apples and Mum gave me another 1, how many altogether? (Many children need a visual to help, so if you have a chalkboard, draw the apples, so they can see and add..)
  • 5 fish were in the tank, 1 jumped out, how many were left? (once again, show on the chalkboard)

 

Year 1 and Year 2

  • What is the difference between 8 and 5? (remember, mathematical language is very important in understanding questions e.g. difference = take away/subtract)
  • What is 10 more than 80? What is 10 less than 70?
  • Count by tens starting at 24.

24, 34, 44, 54, 64, 74, 84……

  • Count by 2’s starting from 0 up to 24. Challenge: count from another starting point. 18, 20, 22, 24, 26, 28, 30, 32……….
  • Count by 10’s past 100. 10, 20, 30…….110.
  • If I had a bag of lollies to share with my friend, with 10 inside the packet, how many would we get each? (remember sharing = divide)
  • If I had a tray of cookies, that had 3 rows of 4, how many altogether?

(remember rows of/groups of = multiplication)

 

Science examples

Kindergarten:

  • What do plants need to grow? (soil, sunlight, water, nutrients)
  • If you dropped a feather and a tennis ball, which one will hit the ground first?

Year 1 and Year 2

  • What makes plants green? (chlorophyll)
  • What planet is the closest to the Sun? (Mercury)
  • What is the name of our moon? (Lunar)

Questions are very easy to think up even for grades higher than Year 2, choose a topic they are interested in, research it if you have to….

If you like the idea of asking questions at the table, check out my new resource available called;

50 Questions at the Table

 

My child is driving me crazy

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Turn the cheeky child into a busy child! Sometimes the cheekiness can be a call for ‘something to do!’

 

 

Here are some ideas!!!

  • Creative City! If you have carpet, use masking tape to create roads and car parks! Use blocks for buildings, add the matchbox cars and they will play for hours!

 

 

  • Making puppets.Choose a theme from a TV show or book, create characters using paper and disposable chop sticks (supermarket) or paddle pop sticks (craft shop). Let him/her put on a show for you!

  • Origami. If you search for simple origami instructions on you tube, you will find visual step by step instructions. Try to do the love heart and the simple fish design!

 

  • Make a fairy garden. When my boys were 4, they were very motivated by magic and make believe! So… I decided to take them to a garden shop and we made a very simple fairy garden with white pebbles, grey pebbles, a bag of various shells and some cheap ornaments. It is actually quite a feature in our back yard…still!

 

  • Buy a puppy!No just kidding! Be a puppy in a game of Charades! Our version is so different and simple compared to the actual game of Charades. They choose a theme, for example; animal, be an animal, and everyone else has to guess!

 

  • Water play. When my boys were about 3, they loved to get all their sea creature plastic toy figurines for water play. I would place 2 towels on the tiles near where I was cooking or cleaning or resting and arranged different containers with various sizes, shapes and depth all around on the towels. Add water and you have created shallow ponds! Lots of fun!

 

  • Pillow Cats.This is great for a rainy day! Children love to choose, so this activity includes a lot of choice at a low cost. Take your child on a trip to the material/craft shop to get the following; small travel pillow, button eyes, button nose, ribbon tail and bow, black pipe cleaners, black texta and black elastics.

 

By looking at the photo, you will see what you need to do with all the materials!

 

   

 

It took me about 10 minutes to sew everything on! Not long at all! My boys made one for their grandmothers. Cheaper than a present, but something Grandmothers would definitely appreciate!!!!!!! (Contact me if you have any problems).

 

   

Keep them busy and have some fun!!!!

 

Is tiredness controlling you

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Exhaustion and Tiredness = Motherhood?

No, it is only a little hard and tiring, when a bub is highly dependent, hang in there………it does get better!!!!!!

Being a mother is one of the most rewarding jobs ever; however it can affect how you feel immensely, due to tiredness!

Many emotions can rise to the surface during your life-chapter of parenting, especially if your life is lacking balance! Tiredness can be a controlling manipulator and can certainly magnify your little worries and feelings!

It has always been a big issue in the world of parenting and can cause a lot of trouble in families. It creates frustration, anxiety, anger and irritability which are simply unnecessary! Even though it is healthy for children to see their parents display various emotions, we certainly don’t want our children to learn the wrong ways to cope in situations when we are tired! When you feel tired, admit you are tired, try and get some rest!

Your relationships and marriage is an easy target for tiredness. You need these relationships in your life as your support network, so don’t let tiredness and hard times cause friction and Marital Dissatisfaction. Partners and friends also need to have that supportive level of understanding of knowing how tired you are and are aware of the expectations of being a mother and the exhaustion tag attached to the role. So if they are not offering to look after the baby/kids so you can have sleep, then ask!!!!!!!

If life seems a little hard to cope with, you, your partner and other things are not to blame independently, only the imbalance in your life, where there is a lack of sleep (as mentioned before) or no timeout for you in each day.  The best thing you can do, is realise that your life is a little different with a new baby/children compared to not having children, but it is only temporary!  Life gets easier!  Re-evaluate the imbalance in your life and discuss it with your partner or family and try to even out the give and take!

         

Once I added sleep and time-out to my priority list, things changed!!

The way I then visualised my balancing and juggling role looked more like this after sleep!

Plenty of sleep, time out with friends or family or on your own, exercise and balanced diet will always keep a balance

It would be helpful to seek out what your favourite past times are, to add to a ‘time out’ list (ideally things you can do at home?!) that you can refer to every day.

  • Little garden project (creating a herb garden!)
  • Reading a magazine
  • Phoning a friend
  • Reading a book
  • Exercise
  • Listening to music ….etc….
  • Do a short on-line course for self achievement
  • Yoga at home. Purchase a yoga DVD and a mat.

 

Get a hold of that tiredness, ask for help and try to put balance into your life! Your wellbeing will help create a happy and harmonious family and house hold.

 

How do I keep my child happy

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Keep life simple, and may the wonder and awe of little things bring constant joy!

If your child seems miserable, before you question their happiness, refer to this checklist;

  • Is routine good?
  • Is their diet balanced?
  • Could they be growing?
  • Could they be unwell?
  • Could your child be worried about something?

Routine – Do they have routine, an appropriate bed time, meal time etc.

Diet – Do they have a balanced diet of protein, vegetables, fruit, carbohydrates and water? Are those fizzy drinks and processed foods minimal?

Growing moods – My boys have growth spurts/testosterone surges that affect their moods, however never last that long. I gently explain to them about how growing can affect how you feel, and that it is normal!

Unwell – Sometimes children can feel unwell, but it is not very noticeable to us (no temperature or other symptoms), check to see if there is a change in their appetite or energy levels.

Bottled worry – Does your child have the chance to share their worries? To talk to you about stuff, can be a huge release, making them feel safe and happy. (Remember, when you are sharing worries with friends or your partner, never assume your children are not listening, they are listening, and depending on the child, they could take those worries on board too!)

In my household, the things that make our children happy are;

  • When we are all silly together! Children love it when adults can come down to their level, and see the joy of being silly sometimes!!!!!

  • When we (Mum and Dad) are the audience for a puppet show or dance/sing performance. My boys find it difficult to perform in front of others, however they are comfortable enough to perform in front of us, which can only enrich their self confidence and self concept!
  • When we play a game their way, together! Forget the rules, enjoy the sunshine and just being together!

  • Sharing funny stories. (they love listening to me telling them stories from my childhood)
  • Praising and acknowledging them with genuine affection.(Watch your children glow, when they wake up in the morning and you suddenly proclaim excitedly that they have grown another inch! Kids love knowing they are getting bigger and older!)
  • Making choices. A choice could be as simple as choosing the type of pasta you are cooking for dinner that night, or choosing the cookies from the jar for their recess/play lunch etc. In regards to choosing clothes, I allow my boys to choose however I choose the clothes for them to select from. In this way I still have control over what they wear. It works very well in my house!
  • Learning and discovering new things! Help keep the wonder and awe alive in their world, by allowing them to interact with new experiences, nature, friends…etc. The things we generally take for granted, can be the things that can actually inspire children! (How many times have you looked up at the clouds, and searched for cloud images?)

  • When Mum and Dad are happy! You will be surprised how many emotions children show, often reflect how we are feeling ourselves! It’s time to spread some happiness, beginning with YOU!